{"id":51233,"date":"2020-10-02T11:41:42","date_gmt":"2020-10-02T09:41:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.deinadieu.ch\/dieter-foerster-the-helping-hand-saved-our-family\/"},"modified":"2021-06-30T17:50:00","modified_gmt":"2021-06-30T15:50:00","slug":"dieter-foerster-the-helping-hand-saved-our-family","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.deinadieu.ch\/en\/dieter-foerster-the-helping-hand-saved-our-family\/","title":{"rendered":"Dieter F\u00f6rster: \u201cThe Helping Hand saved our family\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Joy goes hand in hand with sorrow in many people\u2019s life stories. 83-year-old Dieter F\u00f6rster recounted the highs and lows in his life to DeinAdieu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dieter F\u00f6rster grew up in the Berlin district of Wilmersdorf. He had not even reached six years of age when the British Royal Air Force bombed the German capital on 16 January 1943. Around 140 RAF bombers, mainly heavy four-engine planes, dropped 370 tons of high-explosive and incendiary bombs, more than any previous attack.<\/p>\n\n

148 people lost their lives and over 10,000 lost their homes on this cold night. Dieter F\u00f6rster nods. During the bombing, the 83-year-old was crouched in the cellar of the main post office with his mother. \u201cWe could hear crashing, banging, explosions. When it was over, the city looked like modern-day Beirut. Our house was destroyed by a firebomb, people were desperately pulling belongings out of the rubble. The city looked like a sea of flames.\u201d He falls silent. I\u2019m gripped by his story. \u201cBelieve me,\u201d says Dieter F\u00f6rster, \u201cit\u2019s traumatising.\u201d<\/p>\n\n

The tall man was an only child at the time. His father, a police officer, was drafted into the SS at the start of the war and deployed to the Soviet Union. \u201cWe don\u2019t know what he did while he was in Riga,\u201d says Dieter F\u00f6rster. \u201cWe did wonder later on why we never asked. Then I read that terrible things had happened in Riga. There were many camps, many sad stories.\u201d<\/p>\n\n

At the end of the war, mother and son continued to live in Wilmersdorf, a suburb of Berlin. \u201cIt was a relief when the British took over from the Russian liberators in the summer of 1945,\u201d says Dieter F\u00f6rster. At the time, his father fled Riga, tried to get back to Germany and ended up in a British prison camp near Hamburg. \u201cHe was imprisoned for one or two years. He was not allowed to return to Berlin because of the Blockade.\u201d This was a difficult time, Dieter F\u00f6rster remembers. All food had to be flown in. People were starving and living in poverty.<\/p>\n\n

In 1949, when the Berlin Blockade was lifted, his father \u201ccame home from the war\u201d and looked for a job as a carpenter. The 11-year-old enjoyed this time in his life. Soon after his father\u2019s return, his sister Brigitte was born. Dieter F\u00f6rster laughs. \u201cShe didn\u2019t have it easy with me. I was 13 years older and almost like another parent. The years that followed were wonderful, full of hope. Things were looking positive. Everyone who wanted to work could find a job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n

\"Dieter
At Easter in 1962, Dieter F\u00f6rster went to Lake Zurich to visit Scout families that were friends with a group of Berlin Scouts. The youngsters were fascinated by Switzerland and all its beauty. (Photo: Paolo Foschini)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Dieter F\u00f6rster lost his heart on Lake Zurich<\/h2>\n\n

Then came a key moment in his life. The young Berliner became involved in the Scouts and met a Swiss group while camping in Southern Germany. \u201cWe found them interesting,\u201d smiles Dieter F\u00f6rster. \u201cWe invited them to Berlin. That was in 1961, the wall had not yet been built.\u201d Then the Swiss group returned the invitation. At Easter in 1962, the Berliners visited their \u201cScout families\u201d on Lake Zurich. The youngsters were fascinated by Switzerland and all its beauty. \u201cEven the station in Zurich was fascinating \u2013 the hustle and bustle, the happy people. Our Bahnhof Zoo was a poor sight by comparison.\u201d<\/p>\n\n

On the last night in a forest cabin in St\u00e4fa and Hombrechtikon, he met a pretty blond girl. \u201cI was absolutely blown away,\u201d says Dieter F\u00f6rster. \u201cI was cheeky and pulled on her plait. We got on well. I was 24, she was 17.\u201d He laughs and says \u201cshe showed me the cabin and told me she never wants to get married, never wants to run a household.\u201d Later on in the car, he experienced his first bout of heartache. \u201cWhat a fool I was, I didn\u2019t even know her name.\u201d <\/p>\n\n

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Letter to \u201cFuchs from St\u00e4fa\u201d<\/h2>\n\n

Once he arrived home, he, as leader of the delegation, sent a thank you letter to Switzerland and included a card addressed to \u201cFuchs, St\u00e4fa\u201d. And, lo and behold, Ruth Dubs replied. Over the next four and a half years, they exchanged hundred of letters. \u201cI recently opened the box and read all of them. Quite impressive, really. We argued with each other, we loved each other. All from a distance. We were constantly sending letters back and forth.\u201d When express letters were no longer quick enough, Dieter F\u00f6rster began calling her. \u201cThis quickly became too expensive.\u201d The couple could only see each other in person once a year when Dieter F\u00f6rster spent his holidays in the South.<\/p>\n\n

The graduate in electrical engineering knew very well: \u201cI have to go to Switzerland.\u201d He found a job in Zurich at the company \u201cAlbiswerk\u201d, which was later acquired by Siemens. \u201cThey told me I could start straight away.\u201d Ruth and Dieter got married in 1967 in the church in St\u00e4fa, and the following spring, their daughter Sabine was born. <\/p>\n\n

\"Dieter
Dieter F\u00f6rster with a box of love letters to and from Ruth. \u201cQuite impressive, really. We argued with each other, we loved each other. All from a distance. We were constantly sending letters back and forth.\u201d (Photo: Paolo Foschini)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Travel plans after Ruth\u2019s crisis<\/h2>\n\n

After Sabine was born, Ruth left her job as a primary school teacher. She became quite unhappy, being alone in a flat in a secluded district. Two years later, the family moved to Birmensdorf, Zurich, where their son Adrian was born. \u201cDuring her pregnancy, Ruth felt hopeless,\u201d says Dieter F\u00f6rster. She despaired, saying that she couldn\u2019t do it and became depressed. \u201cWe didn\u2019t know what to do and contacted the \u201cHelping Hand\u201d. According to Dieter F\u00f6rster, calling 143 saved his family. \u201cRuth received help from a blind man who was a kind of counsellor to her.\u201d During this time, they realised that Ruth wanted to go abroad and wanted to travel. She inherited the wanderlust gene from her father. He once travelled to Ghana \u2013 by car \u2013 to visit his brother.<\/p>\n\n

They both eventually developed a sense of wanderlust. Dieter F\u00f6rster laughs. \u201cShe wanted to go abroad, and I said, \u2018I am already abroad\u2019.\u201d But the electrical engineer could be easily persuaded. At first, the family wanted to visit South Africa. \u201cThen I met an Argentinian manager at the Siemens headquarters in Munich. So I broke it to my family, who were waiting for me in the park, that we would be emigrating to Buenos Aires.\u201d<\/p>\n\n

The F\u00f6rster family liked South America<\/h2>\n\n

Dieter F\u00f6rster flew out by himself and the family followed a month later \u2013 by ship. The journey with two children was a genuine ordeal for Ruth. \u201cWe loved the idea of a romantic life in Argentina,\u201d says Dieter F\u00f6rster. He managed a development department. The political situation made life increasingly difficult. \u201cAfter the state cancelled a cooperation agreement with Siemens in 1974 and directors were being threatened by insurrectionists, all Germans had to return home or go to another country.\u201d Siemens as an employer offered the family man a position in South Brazil. \u201cWe moved to an area near the Iguaz\u00fa Falls. That was the best thing we did while we were away. The children attended the international school, learned English, Spanish and Portuguese.\u201d Ruth wanted another child \u2013 and her wish came true. \u201cOur little ray of sunshine Philipp was born. A beautiful baby with blond hair,\u201d says Dieter F\u00f6rster, proudly.<\/p>\n\n

\"Dieter
Dieter F\u00f6rster can look back on his life with satisfaction: \u201cI enjoy a level of prosperity that my parents never had.\u201d (Photo: Paolo Foschini)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

South America left a lasting impression on the couple<\/h2>\n\n

In 1978, the family had to return home after the development project was suspended. While the two older children flew to Berlin to visit their grandparents, Dieter and Ruth travelled through South America with Philipp. \u201cWe visited Chile, Colombia and Guatemala. Then we settled down in Zurich. I continued working at Siemens. We were financially secure. While in South America, Ruth was able to return to her passion of teaching. But this was not an option in Zurich. This was very difficult for her.\u201d <\/p>\n\n

South America left a lasting impression on the couple. A sermon in Brazil put the two of them on a path with Jesus Christ. Dieter F\u00f6rster recalls that this was a very intense time. After spending many years in the Chrischona community, he found stability with the ICF, where he has been a member since 1996. <\/p>\n\n

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The couple rediscovered themselves in England<\/h2>\n\n

After the couple retired and the children had left home, they travelled to England for six months. Ruth attended a language course and suffered from health problems. Once she had recovered, the couple returned for England for a second time. \u201cWe found a nice flat, none of my fears came true. We integrated well into the community, experienced new things together very intensely. We rediscovered ourselves, our interests, our wishes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n

In England, the couple got to know the \u201cCru\u201d (Camp Crusade for Christ) movement. The parachurch Evangelical missionary and training movement is committed to evangelism, adult education, social work and missionary work. The organisation works with all churches, such as the Reformed Church, the Roman Catholic Church and various free churches.<\/p>\n\n

\u201cAfter returning to Switzerland, we were entrusted with the project \u201cJesus Film\u201d, and we were in charge of it until 2013. Ruth had so many ideas. She said we have to make a film about Switzerland. About its traditions and the Christian movement of the country. An investor gave us 50,000 francs and the film \u201cMore than Chocolate and Cheese\u201d was created.\u201d Today, more than 250,000 copies have reached interested viewers. <\/p>\n\n

\"Dieter
Ruth died in an accident. Dieter F\u00f6rster calls this the biggest tragedy in his life. His eyes fill with tears (photo: Paolo Foschini)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Ruth died surrounded by loved ones<\/h2>\n\n

Two years before the couple could celebrate their golden wedding anniversary, Dieter F\u00f6rster experienced what he called the biggest tragedy in his life. He swallows hard, wiping tears from his eyes. \u201cWe were invited out to dinner. On Tuesday, 1 December 2015. I told Ruth I would get the VW Bus out of the garage and pick her up in front of the house. It was dark when I drove out of the garage and I stopped so Ruth could get in. I couldn\u2019t see her anywhere. I started moving again and heard a loud noise under the car. My wife was lying under the car. I immediately called an ambulance. Ruth was still alive, she screamed \u2018mummy\u2019.\u201d This was her last word.<\/p>\n\n

They were at her bedside for fourteen days, says Dieter F\u00f6rster. Her body was connected to tubes and monitors collecting data, she had several surgeries. \u201cThe team of doctors and nurses tried everything. We hoped and prayed for a miracle. On 15 December, everyone knew that the doctors could not pull her through it. Her heart or liver had had enough. We were sitting by her bed and agreed to stop all life-prolonging treatments. Ruth died on the same day at 70 years of age.\u201d Her obituary read: \u201cHer beautiful, generous heart stopped beating in the presence of her family. She has entered eternal life full of joy and splendour.\u201d <\/p>\n\n

\u201cNo one made me responsible for Ruth\u2019s death.\u201d<\/h2>\n\n

Hard times lay ahead for the grieving husband. He was questioned by the police, had to go to the morgue, answered countless questions from the prosecutors. Ultimately, it became clear that Ruth was already lying on the ground and her husband would not have been able to see her. \u201cNo one accused me. I didn\u2019t notice that she was not well. We don\u2019t know why she was lying on the ground, even though everything was investigated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n

Dying is one thing, death is another. Dieter F\u00f6rster says, \u201cWe take what happens after death seriously, we were sure where we would end up. There is no pain there, no suffering. So we were able to let her go. It was good for her to go. If we had tried to pull her through it, she would have held it against us.\u201d <\/p>\n\n

\"Dieter
Three generations under one roof: Dieter F\u00f6rster recently moved in with his son Philipp and his family. It looks like he is pinching chips from his granddaughter. (Photo: Paolo Foschini)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u201cAnd suddenly, I was alone\u201d <\/h2>\n\n

Dieter F\u00f6rster: \u201cI was at my wits\u2019 end. I was drowning in problems. For half a year, I was on autopilot. I had collected what felt like a hundred pages of documents. Then I had to deal with inheritance issues. I was questioned several times. Finally, the prosecutors cleared me of any wrongdoing.\u201d Dieter F\u00f6rster said that his children told the police during questioning that he and Ruth had a symbiotic marriage. <\/p>\n\n

Dieter F\u00f6rster explains that Ruth came to him in a dream one time, she wore a black dress and looked at him through old eyes. Then she opened her arms. \u201cThat was my longing for death. And I wasn\u2019t going to allow it, I still have time on this Earth, wishing for death would be ungrateful to God.\u201d He found stability in his life, did not develop any addictions and did not hit rock bottom. \u201cI was and am being carried.\u201d<\/p>\n\n

Dieter F\u00f6rster does not like to look back on his time alone. \u201cI had to do the laundry, I cooked like a bachelor. I could never live up to what Ruth did for me. One particular problem I had was shopping. I just ate aimlessly, it was difficult without a car, without an ID card. I bought a rail card and saw a lot of Switzerland.\u201d <\/p>\n\n

His wife wrote a will. They sought advice on this, Dieter F\u00f6rster says. And today, his will is also sorted. \u201cI have a will, an advance care directive and a patient decree.\u201d He paused, looked me in the eye and said: \u201cBut those are just formalities. All of our children can provide for themselves. I recently moved in with my son Philipp and his family. They kindly took me in and are looking after me. I am ready to go into a home. And when the time comes, I will go. I do not want to be a burden to anyone.\u201d <\/p>\n\n

\"Dieter
Dieter F\u00f6rster always wanted to go paragliding. After Ruth\u2019s death, he fulfilled that wish in Emmetten. (Image: zVg)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Dieter F\u00f6rster has no fear of eternity<\/h2>\n\n

It took a while for Dieter F\u00f6rster to let go of the question \u201cwhy?\u201d. He says he sometimes quarrelled with God. \u201cBut life must go on,\u201d he laughs. \u201cI have always wanted to go paragliding and Ruth always said no. After she died, I booked a tandem flight in Emmetten. It was a wonderful experience.\u201d<\/p>\n\n

Dieter F\u00f6rster has no fear of eternity. \u201cGod is just, he gives us the punishment we deserve. But God is merciful. He says \u2018You get more than what you deserve\u2019.\u201d He is grateful for the time he had with Ruth. He is thankful for his children, who are all in good health. They are doing well in life. And Dieter? He has everything. \u201cI enjoy a level of prosperity that my parents never had.\u201d<\/p>\n\n

To sum it up, he quotes Hans Carossa: \u201cWhat one is, what one was, When we part it becomes evident. We don’t hear when God’s way hums, We only shudder when it falls silent.\u201d<\/p>\n\n

Text: Martin Schuppli, photos: Paolo Foschini<\/p>\n\n

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The Helping Hand is a partner of Dein Adieu.ch. The profile<\/a><\/p>\n\n

The Helping Hand – Swiss OrganisationOffice, Beckenhofstrasse 16 8006 Zurich, Switzerland<\/p>\n

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Joy goes hand in hand with sorrow in many people\u2019s life stories. 83-year-old Dieter F\u00f6rster recounted the highs and lows in his life to DeinAdieu.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":25439,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2375],"tags":[2694,2695,2698],"class_list":["post-51233","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-aid-organisations","tag-death","tag-helping-hand","tag-testimonial-en"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"Dieter F\u00f6rster: The Helping Hand (Die Dargebotene Hand) saved our family<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Joy goes hand in hand with sorrow in Dieter F\u00f6rster\u2019s story. 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